My fridge... and my concession

Contemplating my blog entries, I realized that I should probably submit my own list of miscellaneous items on my bookshelf or out of my purse, but had a hard time bringing myself to do it. Not because I think it is a stupid idea, necessarily, but because I can’t imagine anyone taking the time to read or care about it. Given, I did read everyone else’s blogs and found them pretty entertaining, but I had a hard time imagining anyone finding interest in the crap out of my car trunk. Plus, where’s the relevancy, honestly? In any case, I was planning on just not doing it.

The next thing I know, I’m cruising through Beckett and what would you know, right there, on page 14, he says “But it is neither of my hat nor of my greatcoat that I hope to speak at present, it would be premature. Doubtless I shall speak of them later, when the time comes to draw up the inventory of my goods and possessions. Unless I lose them between now and then. But even lost they will have their place, in the inventory of my possessions”. Ok. I give. If Samuel Beckett says that a list of silly items constitutes high-brow literature, who am I to challenge it?

So here it is, my list. Considering I’m writing this in the kitchen, I think I’ll go Cribs style, and list off every item in my fridge, from the top shelf down: half a carton of orange juice (no pulp), carton of Silk soy milk, half gallon of fat free milk, 6 bottles of beer, jar of pickles, a can of Cool Whip, broccoli, pack of flour tortillas, thousand island dressing, tub of sour cream, Smart Balance butter, 16 eggs, huge jar of applesauce, a container of something mysterious (it looks like soup, but it’s been in there since December, and I’m not touching it), half a packet of cheddar-jack cheese, a packet of bacon, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, caesar dressing, 5 packets of yeast, a jar of left-over bacon grease, strawberry jam, Sweet Baby Ray’s barbeque sauce, Aunt Jemima maple-syrup, Cholula hot sauce, lemon juice, coffee creamer, horseradish, a jar of peaches, fresh thyme, cooking butter, a jar of homemade salsa, caramel ice-cream topping, a 6-pack of hot dogs next to some Velveeta cheese(my roommate is a really creative and healthy eater), container of left-over fried rice, a half eaten bag of snap-peas, 4 nectarines, vanilla yogurt, 5 mini-packets of hummus, a half loaf of bread, a ginger root, left-over pasta, and a box of baking soda (to keep it all fresh).

…Whew. If only opening up Finnegan’s Wake was as easy as opening the fridge, this high-brow business would be a breeze.