The toils of my type

I am trying to write my paper. It is not going well.

It is not going well for several reasons. I am having difficulty narrowing my thoughts. All the themes and materials in this class are constituting an agglomeration of illumination in my mind. Everything is swirling, pointing, never ending. I can’t find a beginning when there is no beginning. I couldn’t fabricate an end, even if one existed. I want to draw conclusions, I want to discuss what I know now that I didn’t know before. But as soon as I do that, the word “now” flashes in my head. There is no now. There is also no point in discussing “now-ness”, for it has already been elucidated in a few papers.

And this is the part where I start measuring up my thoughts to the thoughts of others. Where I become intimidated not only by the realizations and epiphanies and genius of my fellow classmates, but by their ability to contain it in a paper. Concisely and comprehensibly, and worst of all, eloquently. I’m not so ignorant as to think this project was easy for anyone. I am certain it wasn’t. And I think in the case of this class, it is a good sign. We have all come to understand so much and simultaneously still have so many questions, that resolving something to the extent of forming a paper is quite the feat to overcome.

But my classmates have. And I undoubtedly will. I guess I’m just waiting for that one special epiphany out of so many to emerge, greet me, and flow out of my fingertips onto a brilliant word document…

I do not wish to wait long.